Rogue Counselor

Episode 3: “Step 3 – Surrender, Goodwill, and Finding Your Authentic Voice”

Warning: Some Coarse Language

Easier Ways & Underearning – Recovery Series with Randy Hyden and Mike Shoeman

In this episode, Randy Hyden and I explore Step 3 from both the Under Earners Anonymous framework and Randy’s Easier Ways model.

Under Earners Anonymous – Step 3 “Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.”

Easier Ways – Step 3 “We decided to accept that we could not control everything, claimed the mindset of goodwill, and began to seek our authentic voice within.”

What Is Step 3 Really About?

Step 3 is not about passivity.
It is about willingness.

Randy shares how surrender, in his experience, wasn’t a dramatic spiritual event — it was a shift in perception. A decision to stop fighting reality. A choice to allow support. A willingness to be guided rather than driven by fear, control, or attachment to outcomes.

We explore how “turning it over” can mean:

• Letting go of the illusion that we can control everything
• Releasing rigid expectations
• Accepting help without shame
• Shifting from performance to authenticity

Rather than focusing on a specific religious definition of God, we discuss how a “higher power” can be understood as collective wisdom, fellowship, goodwill, or a higher consciousness beyond ego.

From Control to Goodwill
One of the most powerful reframes Randy offers is this:
Instead of trying to dominate outcomes, we can adopt a mindset of goodwill.

That means:

• Choosing curiosity over defensiveness
• Listening instead of proving
• Allowing change rather than forcing it

For many under-earners and those struggling with feelings of unworthiness, Step 3 becomes a turning point. It invites us to stop trying to earn our worth through control and instead begin living from intrinsic value.

Responsibility Without Shame
This episode also begins introducing the importance of honest self-assessment — what later becomes the moral inventory in Step 4.

We talk about:

• Moving from victimhood to responsibility
• Examining cultural conditioning
• Identifying resentments without self-judgment* Understanding triggers as signs of growth

Randy emphasizes that intense emotions during this process are not signs of failure — they are signs the work is working.

Simple Questions for Reflection
Where in your life are you still trying to control what cannot be controlled?And what might change if you chose goodwill instead?

All viewing hours of this series are creditable in the Karmic Margin Call Project Time Bank.

We invite you to watch, reflect, and consider whether Step 3 is an invitation for you — not to give up power, but to redefine it.